Today I am writing about tolerance in the world. I read an article which spurred on a number of rants and arguements in facebook. The article was about whether children should be taken out to resturants or cafes with their parents. It went on to say that children disrupt others and that people with children should stay home or have coffee and meals at others homes. One comment was that Children should be seen and not heard!
I think the world needs to be more tolerant of others and understand that everyone has a right to go out. Not all children disrupt things. There are so many other things in this world to be concerned about.
I am a believer in discipline for children and that we should all learn to respect others as we grow up. What bothers me about this situation is that parents are being forced to hide from the public because they have children.
The sound of laughter and chatter of young children is a wonderful and innocent beauty. I am not saying that all kids are angels or that some don't need repremanding when they disturb others in cafes etc... What I am saying is that never judge a parent when a child acts out. Never judge until you have walked a mile in someone elses shoes.
More often than not when parents meet up at cafes with children in tow, it is usually one of the only times they get to go out and socialise and have some adult stimulation. In a world of so much pressure is it really necessary to condem parents who take their children out.
To all those selfish people who want to live in a world without children, maybe you should choose to stay home!
Does it feel like your “stress temperature” has gone up around ten degrees the last few years? According to the American Psychological Association’s Stress in America survey, your kids are feeling it too. The new survey details the impact of different types of stress on the family, and the news raises some serious concerns about how children are coping with it. According to the survey, 17 percent of children who say their parent is always stressed are likely to feel high levels of stress themselves compared to two percent of kids who report their parents are never stressed. This means that children are not only aware of the family stress, it is increasing their levels of stress as well. The ill-effects of stress on children’s health is a serious problem, and we know from research that experiencing family stress creates unhealthier kids. The APA survey provides further data that suggests children and teens likely often turn to unhealthy eating or passive, inactive behavior to cope with stress. TV watching and listening to music are higher in stressed tweens and kids, perhaps contributing to the higher levels of pediatric obesity measured over the past five years.
Far from being “character building” for children, stress places children in a situation in which they are worried but have little or no power to correct the situation. Children are perceptive, and quickly pick up on parents’ frustration, more frequent family arguments, and negative changes in the emotional tone of the family. What happens when they feel this tension but can’t do anything about it? Children translate these feelings into bad habits and behaviors. The APA survey found that parents typically underestimate the amount of impact their levels of stress have on children in the family, which is easy to justify when parents are worried about a job or financial situation.
Given the fact that parents have real worries and that they can’t just make their own stress disappear because of the kids, what can be done to help kids with the situation?
- Watch those negative offhand comments – Its natural to express the stress through comments like “We’re stuck” and “why does it always happen just when we are getting back on our feet,” but kids take these comments literally. Try to replace these comments with suggestions for action instead, like “we’ve really got to figure out a plan to deal with our bills.”
- Take a walk instead of turning on the electronics – Role model good stress management by asking the kids to take a walk around the block or playing catch in the backyard. Even a small amount of physical activity can help reduce stress.
- Teach the kids to be solution-focused instead of worry-paralyzed – Ask kids about their own levels of stress and worry, and help them understand how having a plan can make the situation better.
- Make ‘em laugh – Laughter goes a long way in busting through tension and worry. Try a family joke night or funny mime competition to keep things funny and active at the same time.