Heres what I Can Do - I can be happy and successful!

So you have a child that is challenged and needs special assistance with many different things in life (I try not to use the term disability)

Sometimes parents, teachers, carers and peers miss what is most important to these kids.  I believe it’s time to look beyond what our children's weaknesses are and focus some attention on WHAT THEY CAN DO! 

Nurture this and praise them for their efforts. If we do this I believe our kids confidence will grow and then they may be inclined to climb other mountains and take on other challenges that they would not normally try. 

We could spend endless hours trying to teach our kids the things they find extremely difficult and get very disappointed with the results. Would it not be a great thing to see them achieve in areas of strength and build up that self esteem!!!! 

I do not proclaim to have an special qualifications when it comes to this other than being a mother of 3 gorgeous kids, one who is learning challenged. 

Unfortunately in our society we are constantly bombarded with things about IQ and tonight’s show on channel 9 is no exception. Rather than making families participate and find out who has a higher IQ, why don't we look at the achievements of everyone. 

I am going to use a phrase I have been using for months now 

IQ DOES NOT DETERMINE SUCCESS

Accept life is unfair, some people are born with disabilities or are challenged and we need to accept this fact . . Remember Newton could have complained about the Apple falling down the tree could hit his head...but instead he identified the Law of Gravitation and is now known as The Father of Physics,

Accept Failure, Understand behind every Success there is a Failure.

I am not saying don’t try to teach them things they find difficult or hard, I am saying give them a chance to be good or successful at something they can do, build self esteem and confidence and we may find that the things they can’t do may become things they can do because they may not be afraid to try them!!

M

Parents - It's Okay to Let Your Children Fail Sometimes

I found this blog on the Happy Child website. I think it is something we should all learn and understand. Thanks Happy Child for sharing this insight.

By Arun Abey - 30th October 2010

As Harvard’s Positive Psychology Lecturer and author of best-selling book Happier , Tal Ben Shahar has spent his life studying what makes people happy. And his mantra to his students is “learn to fail, or fail to learn.” 

This can be applied to parenting too. Letting our children experience minor failures, without rushing in to save them, helps them learn key skills that are essential to deal with the inevitable disappointments of everyday life.

Of course when it comes to our children, this can be easier said than done. How do we watch as our children make wrong turns, wander aimlessly or head off down streets we already know are dead ends, without warning them? How can we sit back as they under-prepare for exams, make inadequate effort in homework, or choose not to practice for sporting or music events even when we know the disappointing outcome that will result?

We do it by knowing it will make them happy – not fleetingly, but over the course of their lives. By letting our children struggle, just a little, we help them learn two of the key skills to lifelong fulfilment – developing resilience and finding flow.

Resilience

Resilience is the ability to endure harsh conditions, great setbacks and the deep sadness that may come, for example, from the death of a loved one, and eventually return to recapture your joie de vivre.

During their lives, as much as we hate to believe it, our children are inevitably going to experience adversity and hardship, which is why to ensure they thrive, we must help them cultivate resilience by letting them experience minor failures.

When our children get a detention for not doing their homework, fail a test or are left off a school sports team, they are able to see how their actions impact directly on outcomes helping them learn problem-solving skills, persistence and inner-strength.

Flow

Flow is a state of total engagement where time passes unnoticed. It occurs when our highest skills just meet our highest challenges and research shows finding it is one of the keys to a happy life.

But in order for our children to find flow we must allow them to be challenged, not just remain in their comfort zones. After all we don’t find flow when we are bored...

Tal Ben Shahar calls this place 'outside the comfort zone but before the panic zone, the stretch zone'. This is a learning space that requires children to exercise courage and tolerate a certain amount of fear. It is where flow, optimal functioning and most learning occur.

Failure as opportunity

As parents it’s important to let children know that any failure on their part is normal, expected and even welcome, as it means they are learning and stretching themselves.

Some of the most successful people in the world see their failures, not as failures but as part of the journey to success. Before inventing the light bulb Thomas Edison made more than 1,000 failed attempts which he refused to call failures.

“I have not failed 1,000 times” he said. “I have successfully found 1,000 ways not to make a light bulb.”

http://www.happychild.com.au